Moshe’s Blog

What to Do When Things are Falling Apart: Here are 5 Highly Effective Steps To Take

It Can’t Get Worse (Can It??)

I was totally agitated, lying on the table waiting for my acupuncturist Donna to come in. My consulting business had taken a huge hit and was at rock bottom. I was fearfully obsessing, desperate for ways to keep the business alive, yet imagining it all falling apart.

Donna then did her magic with the acupuncture needles, which is always calming and centering. After a few moments, I felt deep peace. I noticed myself accepting the reality that no matter what I do, my business might end very soon. I surrendered to that truth. It was one of the most powerful leadership moments I’ve ever experienced.

Whenever things are falling apart, there is an invitation to surrender, by which I mean letting go of any resistance to what is. This does not mean inaction; quite the opposite in fact. Surrendering involves wholeheartedly taking every action you believe in – but without being attached to the result. You do your best, trust, and what happens next happens. This is the pinnacle of love-powered leadership.

How do you respond when things fall apart?

What’s your reaction to the idea of surrendering?

What’s been your experience when you let go of resistance?

5 Amare Action Steps To Deal with Things Falling Apart

1. Move into acceptance. Put into simple words exactly what is falling apart. Say it out loud. Take a few breaths and repeat until it feels settled inside you.

2. Stay present every moment. Notice the little things, the texture of your food, a bug crawling, the next word you type. Whatever it is, give it your full attention, until the next thing. This gets you through the day, moment by moment.

3. Release stuck energy. Find a healthy outlet to let it out: Scream in your car, hit a pillow, call a friend, write in your journal, jump up and down, lift weights, chop carrots. Do what works for you right now.

4. Allow grief and joy. Find a safe place and let yourself feel it all. Observe the crazy dance between so many emotions. If judgment or criticism shows up, simply say “no thank you.”

5. Look for the rainbow. At the right time, consider what wants to be born in the space created by something falling apart. Let your imagination run wild, no constraints.

Persistence is a great leadership quality – and it becomes a weakness when overdone. Build your Amare love-powered leadership toolbox by knowing 1) when to surrender vs. when to persist, and 2) how to respond in healthy ways when things are falling apart.

Amare Keynotes Uplift Teams with the Power of Love

I do keynote speeches that inspire leaders and teams to put love to work, tell the truth, and always bring their best. If you know of folks that would benefit, consider putting them in touch with me.

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

―Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times