Moshe’s Blog

Three Powerful Steps to Being Committed to Success – Without Being Attached to the Outcomes You Want

Commitment YES. Attachment NO.

“My desire? For the wave of love-powered businesses – what I call the Amare Wave – to grow really big, to become the new normal,” I told my coach (yes, coaches have coaches!). At the same time, I know what happens when I get attached to the outcome I desire. It actually makes achieving it less likely because I’m no longer in the moment and focused on doing the work.

This is the balancing act that can be so challenging to heart-centered leaders: Being totally committed to achieving a big impact, without being attached to whether it happens. Sounds paradoxical, right?

The solution, grounded in amare (love), has two parts: 1) Aspire to big success, but without grasping and craving, without having your self-worth dependent on the outcome. 2) Recognize that commitment comes from deep inside, from your essence. In contrast, attachment is a survival mechanism, and often rooted in fear.

What are you committed to?

What are you attached to?

What comes to mind when you imagine being committed and not attached?

3 Amare Love-Powered Ways to Be Committed and Not Attached

1. Get super clear on your priorities. List the business outcomes that are most important to you. For each, consider why it’s so important, and how central it is to who you are, to your essence, and to your company’s purpose.

2. Recognize when you’re attached. Discern what it feels like when you’re attached to an outcome so you can quickly recognize it. As you go through your day, tune into when those sensations come up.

3. Practice, practice, practice. Select a potential business result you care about but isn’t critical. Challenge yourself to be fully motivated and committed to achieving it, while being okay with any outcome. Then do it again. And again. And again.

Staying totally committed to the outcomes you really care about – without being attached to them – is tough. And it’s something that with practice, you can do. Handling the nuances of paradoxes like this will make you a better leader and happier person.

For more practical tips, check out Chapter 10 in my book, “Turning five common traps into stepping stones”.

Free Master Class with Moshe & Marshall Goldsmith!

I got together with famed executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith for a lively conversation about how and why to put love to work in business. The result is now a unique Master Class, and it’s totally free. Watch the first episode here.