Sometimes, the hardest thing in leadership isn’t starting something new—it’s stopping what doesn’t work. Your instinct may be to try the same action in different ways, instead of recognizing that it’s not just more effort that’s needed, but a completely different strategy.

The Door That Wouldn’t Open

Dr. Reynolds, my UCSD psychology professor, brilliantly demonstrated the “topography of extinction”—a fancy term for how we respond when our usual behavior doesn’t work. The lesson has stuck with me for decades.

One day, he stood in front of a classroom door that wouldn’t open. First, he turned the knob in various directions. When that failed, he pulled with more force. Finally, he repeated the same actions but for a longer duration. Nothing changed.

The lesson? When faced with resistance, our default reaction is to relentlessly double down on what’s not working rather than stepping back to rethink our whole approach.

The Vicious Cycle of Unproductive Behavior

In business, this might look like sticking to outdated strategies, micromanaging when things go south, or clinging to rigid processes that stifle innovation. These behaviors may feel safe, like pulling harder on that door, but they ultimately lead to frustration, wasted time, and missed opportunities.

What it Looks Like to Stop the Cycle

Imagine a leader who is constantly pushing their team to work longer hours to meet targets, believing that more time equals better results. But instead of improved performance, the team is burnt out and disengaged. 

Recognizing this, the leader stops to reflect and realizes that the issue isn’t with the team’s effort but with the unrealistic expectations and outdated processes. By stepping back and reassessing, the team implements smarter work strategies—fewer hours, more focus on high-impact tasks—which not only improve performance but also boost morale.

• What behaviors or processes are you and your team holding onto that are no longer useful?

• How do these unproductive habits impact your personal and professional growth?

• What’s one unproductive behavior you’re willing to let go of today?

7 Amare Ways to Stop Unproductive Leadership Habits

1. Identify the habit. Take stock of your current behaviors and pinpoint the most important ones that no longer serve you or your organization.

2. Assess the impact. Consider the consequences of holding onto unproductive behaviors. List three opportunities you are missing by staying stuck.

3. Seek feedback. Ask your team or a trusted colleague to help identify your behaviors that may be hindering progress. Sometimes, others see what we don’t.

4. Pause before you push. When you feel stuck, take a moment to pause instead of pushing harder. This can prevent wasted effort and make space for more inspired action.

5. Experiment with change. Test new approaches to see if they yield better results. Be open to trying something completely different.

6. Replace, don’t erase. Instead of just stopping a behavior, find a positive action to replace it. For example, instead of micromanaging, focus on empowering your team.

7. Get support. Don’t go it alone. Engage a coach, mentor, or accountability partner to help you break free from unproductive patterns.

The Power of Stopping

Stopping unproductive behaviors isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about creating space for something better. You get to choose to invest your time, energy, and resources into actions that truly move the needle. This is the essence of Amare leadership—leading with love, wisdom, and the courage to change course when necessary.

When you let go of what no longer serves you, you open the door to new opportunities, greater innovation, and a more fulfilling path forward. So, take a deep breath, give yourself permission to stop, and watch as new possibilities unfold.

Transform Your Leadership Team 

I coach and advise executives and leadership teams on identifying and being the best and most effective versions of themselves through the Amare Way of love-powered leadership. If this stirs something within you, please listen. Contact me here.

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.” 

—Lao Tzu, author of the Tao Te Ching

Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:

Starting with Stopping: How Dropping Bad Habits First Will Make You a Better Leader

Stop Working So Hard! Destroy the Myth that Working Harder Makes You Successful & Happy

Stop Avoiding Conflict: 7 Ways Effective Leaders Have Courageous Conversations

Stop Being So Mean to Yourself: 5 Amare Leadership Tips for Less Suffering and More Happiness

How to Stop Letting Bad Habits Get in the Way of Your Success and Happiness