Moshe’s Blog

Return to Zen: 8 Ways to Instantly Regain Your Cool in Heated Situations

Leading Effectively When the Heat is On

“Whenever I’m blindsided by criticism, I just want to strike back. The heat of the moment overwhelms me.” Does this sound familiar?

As a leader, your ability to stay calm and collected, regardless of the pressure you’re under, isn’t just a skill—it’s an essential aspect of your leadership effectiveness and trustworthiness.

Whether you know it or not, you have an unshakable center that remains undisturbed despite external chaos and criticism.

Recognizing and connecting with this part of yourself will enable you to lead with clarity and make decisions from a place of strength rather than reactiveness. Remember, every time things get hot, you get to choose your response.

This does not mean that you’ll never get triggered or lose your temper. Of course you will–it’s a human response to stress and sometimes emotionally expressing your anger and frustration is appropriate (here are some tips for how to take a stand and still stay connected).

The goal is to minimize impulsive reactions and instead, stay in control and more thoughtfully consider your response.

In order to be able to choose, you need to learn how to recognize the situations in which you are likely to lose it and take some of the pre-emptive steps below to ensure you respond as your best self.

What predictably triggers your stress response and knee-jerk reactions?

What does the way you react under pressure reveal about your underlying beliefs and values?

What predictably brings you back to feeling calm and centered?

8 Actionable Amare Ways to Maintain Your Cool When Things Heat Up

1. Instantly pause. The very best thing you can do when you feel yourself getting worked up and reactive is to pause and breathe. One deep, mindful breath can instantly reset your emotional state.

2. Check your ego. Ask yourself if your ego is in the driver’s seat. Catch yourself shutting down to other possibilities than yours, feeling threatened, and shallow breathing. If it is your ego, say thank you and see you later.

3. Know your triggers/teachers. Recognize the individuals at work who routinely trigger you. Consider if they are toxic to be around or simply a mirror for you. They may be your “practice person” (more on that here).

4. Rehearse in “cold” settings. Imagine as realistically as you can several scenarios and people that are likely to trigger you. See yourself pausing, calmly processing, and then responding. Repeat as often as necessary.

5. Seek perspective. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a week, a month, or a year?” This can quickly cool down the heat. Then decide how to respond.

6. Visualize a positive outcome. Shift your focus from the immediate tension to a positive resolution. Seeing it in your mind can reduce stress and reorient your mindset toward constructive outcomes.

7. Look for empathy. Step into the other person’s shoes and consider things from their point of view. Let them know you can understand their perspective, even if you don’t agree or like it.

8. Be kind to you. Your leadership is a work in progress and always will be. Don’t expect perfection or punish yourself if you mess up. Just be sure to really learn from it!

As a leader putting the power of love to work, you will be continually tested by situations that push you to the edge. Yet, it’s in these moments that your true essence has the chance to shine.

By embracing calm and maintaining your cool, you can navigate leadership challenges more effectively and also inspire those around you to rise above their own trials and triggers.

This way of being is an example of uplifting love-powered leadership, what I call the Amare Way. You can read about the seven principles here.

Remember, leadership is not about the absence of difficulty but about your grace in overcoming it.

Lead with the Most Effective Version of You

I coach and advise executives and leadership teams on identifying and being the best version of themselves, through the Amare Way of love-powered leadership. For more information, contact me here.