Are YOU Enough?
“No. I’m not enough,” Robert responded during a coaching session. I coach highly successful executives, many of whom hold this core belief about themselves – despite their many outward achievements. They don’t say those exact words, yet the wound shows through how they lead and live.
It’s painful to believe you’re never “enough.” To cope, you may push harder and do more. Or blame others in order to take the focus off you. Or numb your feelings and be super-busy to avoid the pain. Regardless of what you achieve, these strategies (achieving, blaming, and numbing) will only provide temporary relief. The “not enough” belief still comes through.
The alternative is to really dig into what being not enough is really about, how that belief came to be, and what sustains it. This requires taking a hard look in the mirror – with love, compassion, and support. You can see and accept how this belief impacts your leadership and life and what stories you tell yourself to perpetuate it. Then you can move into letting it go, and ultimately releasing the pain and suffering. What a relief!
1. Do you believe you are enough?
2. What are you thinking and telling yourself about yourself?
3. What is the world objectively telling you about you being enough?
3 Amare Steps to Start Reclaiming Being Enough
1. Go internal to get clear. Invest 15 minutes in quiet time with yourself, reflecting on the question: Do I believe I am enough? If you get distracted (we all do!), just come back to the question. Write down what you learned. No judgment, please.
2. Notice your self-talk. For the rest of today, notice how you talk to yourself. Are you praising yourself? Insulting yourself? Ignoring yourself? Notice too how your self-talk compares with external feedback.
3. De-personalize it. Give a name to the “not enough” messenger. Something appropriate will come to your mind. When that messenger appears, say hello and goodbye. Let it know you’ve got this, you’re safe.
This is the kind of self-awareness and healing work that Amare love-powered leaders courageously do in order to be their very best.
Help Create the Amare Leadership Handbook!
I’m creating a how-to handbook for love-powered leaders based on the last three years of this newsletter, and am now building a team of co-creaters and reviewers. Requirements: passion, honesty, commitment, a little time (not much). Interested? Contact me here.
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“Throw away all imaginary things. Stand firm in that which you are.”
―Kabir, 15th-century Indian mystic poet and saint
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When You Have Nothing Left to Give: Six Ways to Restore Yourself and Still Lead with Love
20 Powerful Learnings and One Very Simple & Important Step to Love & Support Yourself
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