Moshe’s Blog

“I Don’t Know What to Do!” 7 Tools to Help Young Leaders Move From Indecision to Decision.

Decisions, Damn Hard Decisions.

“I don’t know what to do,” acknowledged Sarah, the brilliant young CEO nine months into her role. Sarah was at a crossroads, struggling to conclusively deal with the obviously toxic culture she inherited.

When she considered her options (none easy), she would ‘freeze’ – in fear of screwing up. Meanwhile, her VP was pressuring her to “just friggin’ decide!” which only made things worse.

Great leaders face hard decisions all the time. And every leader I’ve ever coached has had Sarah’s experience. Freezing up, spinning, going blank, panicking…and criticizing themselves for being indecisive. Some then take it to the other extreme and make rash decisions just to avoid looking or feeling ineffective.

What’s the healthy way through this kind of indecision and fear? In one word, it’s love, what I call the Amare Way. You can choose now to become a leader that puts the uplifting and connecting power of love to work in every single decision you make. Imagine that as your legacy! I wrote this book The Amare Wave: Uplift Your Business by Putting Love to Work to guide you forward.

What’s your experience with freezing up in the face of really hard decisions?

What comes to mind when you consider making Amare (love) your anchor for all your leadership decisions?

7 Amare Tools to Move from Indecision to Good Decisions

1. First accept what is. Say to yourself “I accept that making this decision is hard for me.” Then be compassionate about it. Judging yourself will only lead you to suffer more. So don’t.

2. Inventory your indecisions. List 5 to 10 recent situations where you procrastinated or went through lots of angst to make a decision. Ask yourself what specifically you were afraid of each time. Notice the commonalities and learn the lesson that is there for you.

3. Find your way to “unfreeze.” Imagine a tough decision that scares you or causes you to freeze up. Tune into the sensations in your body. Experiment with different techniques to unfreeze – meditate, dance, sing, yell, laugh, etc. Find what brings you back to your center.

4. Develop your Inner Guidance System (IGS). Start by taking five minutes twice a day to quiet your mind. Use your breath, meditation apps, walking in nature–whatever works for you. Then experiment with making decisions while in this quieter state where you can tap into your inner guidance. More IGS techniques here.

5. Try fearlessness. Simply ask yourself: What would I do if I were not afraid? This does not mean making decisions by being arrogant, dismissive, or naive. It simply means to come from love rather than fear.

6. Keep perspective. Remind yourself of the big picture–why your organization exists, why you are here, and how much will this decision matter in 10 years. Then take a deep breath. This, too, shall pass.

7. Give yourself support. Make a list of five people you fully trust and would confide in when you are stuck. Spend time with them. Look into professional coaching, too. Find books and videos that uplift you.

As a young leader, know that you are not alone. Learning these skills now will make a huge difference in your effectiveness and in how you feel about yourself throughout your career. May you lead well and prosper!

One More Reviewer Needed for New Amare Leadership Book Series

Would you like to be an advisor and reviewer on our new Amare book project? We’re making a unique book series from these newsletters and would love your input. E-mail me for more info.