Earlier this year, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of tech giant Meta, publicly worried on Joe Rogan’s podcast that the corporate world was “culturally neutered” and lacking “masculine energy.” Translation? Men are scared.

His outcry, echoed across the “manosphere,” isn’t just about gender or office vibes. It’s part of a larger societal backlash. As more women gain real power—in business, government, and culture—some men aren’t adapting. 

They’re panicking, partly fueled by a global leadership culture rife with swagger and bravado. So instead of evolving, many men are resisting by doubling down on dominance, control, and old-school chest-thumping.

We’ve Seen This Before

• In the 1920s, women gained the right to vote. In response? Men’s “masculinity preservation” clubs. Think secret handshakes, cigar smoke, and brash conversations about “restoring manhood.”

• In the 1980s, women entered Wall Street. The pushback? Greed-as-gospel, power ties, and a rush of testosterone-fueled leadership books.

• Now, in the 2020s, women are founding powerful companies and reshaping industries. The reaction? Tech bros training for cage matches, and political leaders doubling down on dominance (with extra creatine!).

Each time, the pattern repeats: Women step up as leaders. Some men freak out. Suddenly, we’re calling aggression an asset and compassion a liability.

Upsides and Downsides of Hypermasculine Leadership

To be fair, hypermasculine leadership can deliver wins. It’s bold, decisive, and ego-driven—traits that can rally teams in a crisis, drive rapid execution, and project confidence to investors. It can feel powerful. It can look powerful. 

The problem? It often prioritizes control over collaboration, speed over sustainability, and appearance over authenticity. Over time, what starts as strength hardens into rigidity. It actually becomes toxic. Teams burn out. Innovation slows. Trust erodes. What once felt like power turns out to be posturing.

When you rely on aggressive masculinity to lead, you actually limit the potential of your organization because you forget that collaboration, empathy, and inclusivity are what make teams thrive. It’s human nature. Instead of thriving, you get more fear, a lack of collaboration, and the slow erosion of your organization’s health.

Fear Parading as Strength

Let’s get real: the backlash against “softness” isn’t about principle—it’s fear wearing a power tie.

• Fear of irrelevance.

• Fear of losing control.

• Fear that if power isn’t loud, it won’t be respected.

If that’s you, give yourself some grace. When control and detachment are all you’ve known, emotional intelligence and vulnerability can feel like a threat. From that lens, the fear makes sense.

But no, you’re not being asked to swap your “tough it out” mindset for a singing bowl and a group hug. You’re being asked to upgrade.

You don’t have to ditch drive, ambition, or edge. Just stop believing they can’t coexist with empathy and connection. They can. They do.

I get it—I lived it. I came up in a male-dominated business world, built grit through years of CrossFit and Karate, and know the value of toughness. 

I’ve also seen how clinging to dominance limits leaders and stunts growth. The leaders I coach—men and women alike—get their biggest breakthroughs not by doubling down on control, but by daring to lead with heart.

Highly Successful Businesses Embracing Wholeness

Here are three examples from the bro-dominated world of tech that model a better path—where leadership welcomes both strength and softness, decisiveness and vulnerability, proving that you can lead with heart and win.

• Salesforce baked social impact and emotional intelligence into its DNA—and reaped steady growth, innovation, and high employee engagement.

• LinkedIn cultivates belonging and psychological safety—and has become one of the most trusted tech brands in the world.

• Microsoft, under Satya Nadella, shifted from a cutthroat culture to one rooted in curiosity and collaboration—and saw a business renaissance.

None of these companies is perfect. Far from it. However, they demonstrate that integrating humanness into leadership is not a weakness. It’s strategic, courageous, and profitable. It can and does work.

Consider who you are being as a leader:

• Where are you leading from fear instead of love?

• Do you equate softness with weakness?

• When women take up space or speak boldly, how do you react—externally and internally?

• What version of masculinity are you modeling for others?

7 Amare Action Steps: Lead with Heart and Backbone

1. Interrupt the reflex to dominate. When you feel the urge to assert control, ask: What am I afraid of? Name it. Then choose a different move—ask a question, invite input, or pause.

2. Co-lead with a non-dominant voice. Use your power to elevate others. Share the mic, share the space.

3. Replace “toughness” with “courage.” Don’t sugarcoat—but also don’t weaponize truth. Care enough to be clear and kind.

4. Honor both your masculine and feminine traits. Embody both: strength and stillness, drive and presence.

5. Create a ritual of presence. Open meetings with a check-in. Close with a moment of appreciation. Normalize humanity.

6. Model vulnerability. Share a moment when you led from fear—and what you learned. It builds trust faster than any KPI ever will.

7. Challenge outdated beliefs. Every time you think, “That’s just how leadership works,” ask: Is it? And is it working now? Or is it a relic that would be better off left in the past?

Whole Leadership: The New Face of Power

The future of leadership isn’t about getting tougher. It’s about getting smarter and more human. Instead of using hyper-masculine strategies to hold on to power, you can adopt a more inclusive and balanced leadership model—one that values both strength and empathy.

If you feel threatened by the rise of feminine power, or pressured to be aggressive by societal norms—good! That discomfort is your invitation.

• You can be strong and soft.

• You can be fierce and kind.

• You can lead with ambition and love.

Power doesn’t have to shout. It can also hold, listen, and uplift. The business case is clear. The human case is urgent. The brave choice is yours.

Let’s do this,

Moshe

Flourish as a Leader with the “Strong Start” Coaching Program

Consider my “Strong Start” coaching program as a low-risk, high-value way to grow and flourish as a whole leader. For more information, contact me here.

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“You can’t be a real man if you’re afraid to be a real human.” 

— David W. Orr, Professor emeritus at Oberlin College

Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:

Thriving Even When the World is Upside Down: A Guide to Personal Resilience for Today’s Leaders

And Then What? The Incredible Power of Getting Off the Achievement Treadmill and Finding Real Fulfillment

Finding Your Courage: 5 Steps to Lead with Your Lion’s Roar

Stop Avoiding Conflict: 7 Ways Effective Leaders Have Courageous Conversations

Three Simple Ways to Be a More Courageous Leader

Original article published on Inc.com.