Moshe’s Blog

How to Navigate Strong Emotions To Not Derail Your Core Commitments: A Leader’s 5 Step Guide

When You Really Don’t Want to Do It

In the realm of leadership, emotions can be like quicksand, easily swallowing up your best intentions and commitments. “Follow your commitment, not your feeling,” is a piece of wisdom imparted by seasoned coaches to leaders. And it’s a challenging practice, especially on the days when you just don’t want to do it.

Whether it’s a promise to take daily action to treat your people well (an Amare Way leadership principle) or personal goals like regular workouts or consistent writing schedules, our commitments are often tested by your transient feelings and reactivity.

For instance, say you’re committed to transparent communication and employee well-being, but the thought of a tough performance review makes you recoil. “He’ll be upset,” you think, or “I’ll appear incompetent.” This internal dialogue highlights the conflict leaders often face—the contest between transient feelings, the stories we make up, and our steadfast commitments.

These stories can act like a bungee cord, pulling you away from your commitments. The real challenge arises in discerning what’s truly at play internally, and what truly matters to you, and then deciding how to act—or not act—accordingly.

What fears or assumptions are shaping the narratives that hold you back from your commitments?

When you ‘go with your feeling,’ are you trusting yourself, or avoiding a difficult but necessary action?

In moments of emotional resistance, what core values and commitments will you return to as a leader?

5 Amare Steps to Discern Emotional Challenges and Honor Your Commitments

1. List your internal narratives. Write down the stories you tell yourself that create resistance. Identify their origins and truthfulness to dismantle their power. More ‘how-to’ tools here.

2. Plan for difficult dialogues. Prepare a strategy for tough conversations. Outline the main points, anticipate reactions, and set a positive, clear intention for the outcome. Here’s a primer on courageous conversations.

3. Schedule reflection time. Allocate specific times daily or weekly to check in with your emotional state and how it may be influencing your decisions and interactions.

4. Brainstorm with your team. Engage your team in open discussions about emotional challenges and commitments. Create a shared language and understanding to support each other.

5. Craft a commitment manifesto. Document your core leadership commitments. Refer to this manifesto regularly, especially during times of emotional turmoil, to realign with your leadership path. Use the Amare Way Manifesto as a reference point.

Being a leader isn’t about being impervious to feelings, but rather about navigating through them to uphold our deeper commitments. It’s about recognizing the stories you tell yourself, the immediate reactions you have, and choosing to act from a place of commitment to your principles and the well-being of your people and organization.

Leadership demands the courage to stay committed, even when your emotions pull you in the opposite direction. Learn to recognize and rewrite your internal stories, embrace difficult conversations, and consistently choose to act from a place of commitment.

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