Moshe’s Blog

Pain in Leadership is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional.

“I wrote this book to alleviate suffering in business,” I declared in the opening to The Amare Wave: Uplift Your Business by Putting Love to Work. Why start there, you ask? What about productivity or profitability?

Well, after three decades as a business consultant and executive coach, I’ve seen firsthand how suffering, often unseen and unrecognized, throttles the full potential of leaders and their organizations. And it’s tough to avoid–suffering is constantly stimulated by the subtle and pervasive messages of mass consciousness, societal norms, and often organizational culture. So many of us wear our suffering like a badge of honor.

Suffering as a root cause of business woes isn’t a new concept—Jesus or Buddha could have been guest speakers on this topic! Yet, it remains as relevant today as it was millennia ago when suffering was the hottest new trend on the existential market.

Distinguishing Pain from Suffering

In my coaching sessions, I emphasize the crucial distinction between pain, which is an inevitable part of life and work, and suffering, which is the narrative we build around that pain. Tuning into this difference is vital for leaders aiming to mitigate not just their own suffering but also that of their teams.

For example, say you receive harsh feedback from your Board. Painful? Sure. It hurts. And also offers an opportunity for growth. Suffering kicks in when you take it as a personal assault, replaying the meeting on an endless loop in your mind and making up a story about your inevitable failure as a leader, leaving no space to see the positive potential.

What makes you suffer?

Where can you identify systemic suffering within your team or organization?

What cultural changes can you foster to reduce this suffering?

Embrace These 9 Amare Steps to Alleviate Your Suffering

1. Acknowledge the pain. Recognize when it hurts, but don’t dwell. Hold it lightly, learn its lessons, and let it go. Understand pain is part of your leadership and life journey.

2. Separate fact from fiction. Pain is a fact; suffering is the fiction you weave around the pain. Learn to differentiate.

3. Assess your culture. Work with your team to identify habits or ways of being that promote suffering. Then, find alternatives.

4. Implement support systems. Ensure your team has the support they need to thrive–mental health resources, work-life balance initiatives, professional coaching, etc.

5. Cultivate self-awareness and compassion. Start with yourself, then extend that understanding to your team as the antidote to suffering.

6. Reframe the narrative. Transform your internal and perhaps organizational dialogue from victimhood to empowerment. Check out the four spiritual stages of leadership growth here.

7. Encourage mindfulness. Being present helps distinguish between the immediate sting of pain and the prolonged ache of suffering.

8. Promote psychological safety. Ensure your team feels safe to express pain without fear of creating suffering through judgment or retaliation.

9. Lead with love. At the heart of the Amare Way is love—leading with love minimizes suffering and maximizes fulfillment and performance.

What Happens When You Alleviate Suffering

Alleviating suffering opens the door to a more creative, engaged, and committed workforce. It transforms potential energy sapped by suffering into kinetic energy, driving innovation and performance. Remember, a leader who dares to address the heart of suffering is a leader who sets the stage for true greatness.

As you embrace these steps, consider the profound impact of reducing suffering within your sphere of influence. You not only enhance the well-being of your team but also set the stage for a more dynamic, resilient, and successful organization.

Stay connected, stay inspired, and remember, every challenge is an opportunity to showcase the strength of your spirit and the resilience of your leadership. Lead on!

Transform Your Leadership Team

I coach and advise executives and leadership teams on identifying and being the best and most effective versions of themselves through the Amare Way of love-powered leadership (suffering optional!). If this stirs something within you, please listen. Contact me here.