That Relentless Voice in Your Head
“Careful! You might mess this up. Maybe you shouldn’t even try.” This is the kind of criticism and self-doubt that the voices in our heads often express. The voices are relentless, always having something to say, which can be crazy-making.
The magic first happens when you know it’s just a voice, when you can observe it without giving it much energy or blindly obeying it. The bigger magic happens when you realize that voice is not you. It is simply your very own inner commentator, going way overboard in trying to keep you safe from any threat or danger.
- How do you treat the voice in your head?
- Who’s the leader, you or that voice?
- Would you like to have a different relationship with the voice(s)?
4 Amare Ways to Make Friends with the Voice in Your Head
1. Practice observing your mind. Notice what you’re thinking right now. Put words to it, like “I see myself thinking that I don’t want to do this, that it’s a stupid exercise. Hmm, isn’t that interesting.” Set an alarm to prompt you to do this every hour.
2. Take stock of your thoughts. Reflect on your thoughts of the last day. To what extent were they uplifting or demeaning? Familiar or novel? Risk-averse or risk-seeking? Look for attempts to keep you safe, even if very misguided. With compassion, say thank you.
3. Have a Voice in My Head group conversation. Add this to your next team meeting agenda. Start by asking how many people have a never-ending voice in their head. Then explore what that’s like, with explicit boundaries for what is shared. Only do this if you intend to keep the conversation going as a way to build trust and support people in being authentic.
4. Actively choose when to listen. Consider the voice as an ever-present and sometimes annoying friend. Talk to it, accepting its helpful suggestions and saying no to the rest. Reassure this well-meaning friend that you got this, that you’re in charge, that you are safe.
Creating separation between the voice in your head and the “you” that observes it, is a powerful step in self-awareness and into love-powered leadership. The more self-aware you are, the more you can lead with clarity, authenticity, and love.
Amare Speeches
I do keynote speeches that inspire good people to challenge their business paradigm and put the power of love to work in their organizations. If you know of folks that could use this kind of message, let me know.
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then?’ The one who sees that.”
― Eckhart Tolle, self-help author and spiritual teacher
Acknowledgements: The stories that often begin these newsletters come from a mix of my experiences and imagination.
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