The Perfect Leader
“I work so hard to get everything exactly right,” Kevin sighed. “So many people count on me.” A lot of leaders feel this way, and carry an enormous burden trying to always be perfect.
Perfection is alluring, no doubt. Plus there’s both explicit and implicit pressure on leaders to be perfect, and in some companies, very little tolerance for mistakes. Somehow, the knowledge that perfection in leadership is impossible doesn’t lessen its pull.
The trap is that in aiming for perfection, we become overcontrolling, judgemental, self-critical, and risk-averse. We invest tremendous energy into impression management; we hide our flaws — even from ourselves. The result is crushing fundamental parts of who we are, which ultimately diminishes our effectiveness as leaders.
- To what extent do you aim for perfection as a leader?
- What’s your experience achieving and not achieving perfection?
- What does your relationship with perfection do to your spirit?
5 Amare Ways to Deal with the Allure & Trap of Perfection
1. Find the why. Identify the core belief that drives your perfectionism. Say it out loud. Then wonder if it’s true.
2. Find the allure. List three outcomes you connect with being perfect – fame, fortune, love, money, security, etc. Be honest, no self-judgment. Then laugh.
3. Find the traps. List three people or situations that trigger your perfectionism – whether they start with you or others. Notice which traps listed above come into play.
4. Find the fear. Ask yourself what you’re afraid will happen if you make mistakes and people know. Then ask how that might affect what others think of you, and what you think of yourself.
5. Find the love. Ask yourself what would happen if you loved yourself the same whether or not you made mistakes, and regardless of what others thought of you. Then do it.
Look at how perfectionism plays into your leadership style, do some of the practices above, and then move on to inspire your people to do the same. The result will be an organization that aims high while learning from the inevitable mistakes. Click here for more resources on love-powered leadership that brings out your best in a healthy way.
Amare Speeches
I do keynote speeches to inspire leaders and their teams to be more self-aware and put the power of love to work in their organizations. If you know of people or organizations that could benefit from this kind of message, please let me know.
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”
―Anne Wilson Schaef
Acknowledgements: The wisdom of executive coach Kathy Fleming. The stories that often begin these newsletters come from a mix of my experiences and imagination.
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