Moshe Engelberg, PhD, MPH



Moshe's blog

Moshe’s Blog

It Is What It Is: 3 Ways to Embrace Reality You Dislike

Dealing with Reality

In challenging times, leaders often wish things were different than they are. Many of us do. It’s a natural tendency. Yet too much wishing, denying, and ignoring is counterproductive because it doesn’t change what is. 

What you can do is accept what is and alter your perceptions, beliefs, and judgements about it. And you can imagine and create alternative realities. This harnesses the uplifting power of love.

The good news is accepting what is – the current state – can co-exist with striving toward what could be, a better future state. Amare leaders make space for both, and without being attached to either.

  • Under what circumstances do you tend to resist reality?
  • How does your organization manage and communicate what is?
  • What is your capacity for accepting what is and simultaneously explore other possibilities?

3 Amare Ways for Leaders to Embrace Reality

1. Notice your defenses. Take stock of how you deal with reality when you don’t like it. Do you do happy talk? Ruminate and stew? Get busy? Immediately go to fixing? Notice what your body tells you when you engage these mechanisms, and what results. Do the same for your company’s defenses.

2. Get it out. Say out loud or write down all the things you don’t like about the current reality. Take 5-10 minutes and get it all out. Swear if you need to. Then take a deep breath and say ten times  “it is what it is.” 

3. Consider possibilities. Imagine making one small change within your control to what is, that shifts and uplifts your energy. Next imagine what a new and improved reality might be. Repeat the process until you feel a calm acceptance and a little inspiration.

Be an Amare Ambassador On My New Amare Podcast!

Please share your vision for putting love to work in your organization. Contact me now about appearing on my new Amare Leadership Podcast. Your story is worth sharing!    

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“And that’s the way it is.”

―Legendary news anchor Walter Cronkite’s signature sign-off

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