Imagine ringing a friend’s doorbell. They call out, “Who’s there?” and you reply, “It’s me!” This simple exchange is a classic, almost humorous example of an unconscious operating assumption in everyday life—automatically presuming others know exactly who ‘me’ is. After all, it’s so obvious to you!
This tendency to expect that others see the world as we do can create challenges in leadership. Imagine Mark, a CEO assuming that ‘strong leaders don’t show weakness.’ That’s his background app running unchecked, subtly discouraging team openness and vulnerability.
Core operating assumptions work quietly behind-the-scenes, like automatic software updates that change features before we even know what’s happening. These assumptions often stem from a deep-seated need to feel safe and understood, crafted during our earliest experiences to protect us from the unpredictable.
When hidden and unchecked, these beliefs can script your failures as much as your successes. By pulling these assumptions into the spotlight, you can actively reshape their impact, turning unconscious stumbling blocks into self-aware stepping stones for personal and team empowerment and collaboration.
- What core operating assumptions are silently steering your leadership decisions right now?
- How might these hidden guides be influencing you and your team’s dynamics?
- What new possibilities might emerge if you developed new core operating assumptions?
3 Amare Steps to See & Release Your Unconscious Limiting Assumptions
1. Get some help. Most leaders find it difficult to discover their unconscious operating assumptions on their own. Consider asking a leadership coach or a trusted colleague for their perspective on where you might be on autopilot and missing the obvious. Then ask if those assumptions still serve you as a love-powered leader.
2. Lean into your ‘magic triangle.’ Ask yourself how each of your operating assumptions lead to a strategy to compensate for the assumption, and what outcomes that strategy makes possible and impossible. Read more here.
3. Understand & forgive yourself. You created operating assumptions to support and protect yourself in some way. We all do. Acknowledge those that no longer serve, thank them for doing their work and, with gratitude, let them go.
So Who is at the Door?
As leaders, shedding light on our core assumptions is not just about avoiding misunderstandings; it’s about enriching our leadership with a spectrum of insights and experiences.
Turn the simple act of questioning “who’s at the door?” into a deeper exploration of your assumptions and expand your capacity to lead with self-awareness and self-love.
Lead with the Best Version of You & Your Team
I coach and advise executives and leadership teams on identifying and being the best version of themselves, through the Amare Way of love-powered leadership. If this stirs something within you, please listen. For more information, contact me here.
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
— Henry Winkler, actor
Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:
Is there Kryptonite in Your Superpower? A Leader’s Guide to Recognizing and Resolving Blind Spots
Making Trust and Accountability Your Leadership Superpowers
How to Stay the Course and Lead Effectively When the World Outside Seems Crazy
Discover the Leadership Path to Workplace Harmony: It’s Not What You Think
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